Sources

We cuddled on the floor, kissing and giggling and holding hands. But I didn't feel anything, as nice as it was, you didn't make my heart flutter or make me feel relaxed and comfortable. I was thinking ahead to going home, to cuddling with my cat and being alone again. I don't know what this means, what you expect from me. Because I am a mess, it's hard to live with myself, and I have so many other things and people to deal with.

Your hands crept up my legs as I whined about the last boy to hurt me, who I have to see and pass by in the street. Who talks about me to his roommate while they oh-so-subtly stare in my direction. You listened, you told me what I needed to hear, and in return you felt what you wanted. That's how it always was, how it always will be.

Identifying

Sometimes just browsing through pictures on the internet is enough to make my mind wander, to stop thinking about all the stressors in my life and just relax. A lot of times, a cup of tea around this time of night (7 PM) helps me to focus on my homework. Doodling in my planner for a few minutes also helps to release those yearnings of procrastination. And, without fail, putting on a playist from my iPod keeps me motivated and happy and comfortable enough to continue working.

And then, sometimes I just have to find somewhere downstairs to work because there's too many distractions in my room.