Whatever it takes

Well, the holidays are almost here, I very badly need a job, and, as usual, I am daydreaming about the future instead of focusing on my present.

Back in June

I've been sick with either regular flu or swine flu for the past few days, and it doesn't show any signs of release. I've been drinking rediculous amounts of tea and TheraFlu. I just wish my nose wasn't so cold and I could breathe properly. :(

Also, I talked to Jennings last week and he suggested that instead of going into a creative writing major, I go in as English and then do Creative Writing in grad school. It's a good idea, and I understand why it's a good idea, I just dont know if I want to spend the extra time or money I don't have on grad school. It would mean starting my college search all over, which I am already way too far in. I don't know, I have to consider it.

P.S. I miss Block Island.

Open up

Lately I've been feeling stressed out about schoolwork and after-school activities and friends. For a few weeks at the beginning of the year I did a fabulous job balancing them, but lately I've been having 6-day school weeks and it's brining me down, big time. I've lost so much sleep over the past few weeks, and I just don't have the time to catch up on it. I've been snapping at everyone, mostly my mom and my brother. I've had so many things to do, and it just seems like there is no time to do it. Luckily on Wednesday we have a half-day, and I know my friends are going to ask to hang out but honestly I think I just need some time to myself, for sleep and homework and personal relaxation time.

Also I went to Diane's for the first time in about four months, and it seemed that most of my venting/raging went towards Mel. I've started to unfairly become angry at her, and I've started to just dismiss her problems as inferior to mine. I know it's wrong and that I shouldn't just hate on her for the sake of hating on her but I do and I am going to continue doing it because it makes me feel better. I've started to forget that we have a real relationship and friendship and I feel like she's started to become my enemy. I have a feeling that this is just a phase, and that once I get out all of my raging I'll start caring about her again. I know I will.