This is from another time, another life. When we were in love and happy and only experienced occasional speed bumps in my mental sanity as compared to now. When he would allow himself to be dragged along for the ride simply because he wanted to be with me. When we had friends and songs and our children all planned out.

None of this is the case anymore.

What I thought were moderate anxiety attacks then are now considered a walk in the park. When I couldn't breathe and felt claustropobic by being inside a house last summer, I now don't eat for days at a time, get nauseous sporatically, and don't sleep. My trigger thoughts and phrases from the summer are laughable "monsters under the bed", compared to my current trigger thoughts.