I ended up tricking myself into believing I could do any of this without you; into believing that I could move on. I'm completely lost, I have absolutely no idea of anything I want anymore. I need other people to remind me to eat, to give me my pill, to take me to class, to move me out of the way of people and pavement and moving cars.
Going home makes me afraid, but nevertheless, I have to do it. I have to go and retreat into my house with my family and my cat and the love that I had before you. To remind myself that it's still there, it will always be there.
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