life is getting harder day by day

Days after fixing a fight with my two best friends, a new one breaks out with my mom. She took off today, not telling anyone where she was going. She forgot to pick me up from the ice rink and I stood outside for an hour in the sweltering New England heat. You could say I was pissed. I don't get a break; as soon as something clears up, something else comes up. I can't take it. I can't live with all this.

autumn breeze

A blowout with my two best friends has been leading me into a deeper depression lately, causing me to not be able to focus. I don't have much motivation and my homework has been suffering as a result. I've been stressed, depressed, and under more pressure lately, and I am really needing a day off.

On the other hand, I caught a hilarious video clip of my history teacher and my friend David arguing today in the library. :)

shine on

School was fun; we're working on a History project on an aspect of our school that bothers us (early start time, lack of sufficient walls, etc.) And I'm so excited to work on ours; we're doing a documentary.

I've started getting to the point where I will have anxiety if I don't have my organizer with me or if someone else has it and is looking at it. I need to calm down.


Do you have your eye on anyone?
No.

Are you happy with your life at the moment?
Somewhat.

What is something you disliked about your day?
I had a headache all day.

Who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Devon

What are you listening to?
Mark talking to himself

Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today?
Nope.

What's the last thing you said out loud?
She doesn't like you.

How's your hair looking?
Gross.

Anyone you would like to get things straight with?
A few people.

Gotten a hickey?
Ew, no.

Do you think the drinking age should be lowered to 18?
Nope.

Last sporting event you watched on TV?
The Red Sox game, which we lost.

Last thing that touched your lips?
Molly

Have you kissed anyone whose name started with a R?
No?

Are you sleepy?
Yes, all the time.

Are you okay with abortion?
Whatever you want to do with your baby is your business.

What TV show should never stop getting produced?
Scrubs!

Happier on your own or with someone?
Usually I'm happier on my own.

Who's the last text you received from?
Devon

What did it say?
"Bring me the final copy of the invite and I'll copy it here"

Is cheating ever okay?
No

Would you ever be the "otherperson" as in help someone cheat?
No.

Can you whistle?
Yep.

Waiting on anything?
Yes, many things.

What shoes did you wear today?
Black flats.

Name all the people you've seen today?
Ryan, Brittney, Aja, Devon, Fadia, Rabbia, Sara, Sarah, Danny, David, John, Jordan, Eric, Lisa, Allison, Brian, Vicki, Joe, Jasmin, Mark, Hayley, Brystal, Megan, Rachel, Judy, Nicole, Derek, Josh, Alex, Ron, Darren, Bryan, Mark.

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
Yes, quite a few.

Who was the last person to call you?
Mel

What's irritating you right now?
The fact that it's 3:30 and I haven't done anything yet.

Is this year the best year of your life?
Maybe.

Do you have any strange phobias?
Yes, I have a phobia of wrists.

Where is your cell phone?
In front of me.

Do you feel comfortable with answering personal questions?s
Go for it.

Have you ever passed out?
It depends on what you mean.

Would you rather your partner have gorgeous eyes or a gorgeous smile?
Smile, definitely.

Where is the person you miss the most?
Probably home.

Do you have a best friend?
Yes, two.

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Probably, not on purpose.

Has someone ever broken your heart?
No.

Are your eyes the same color as your mom's or dad's?
Both my parents have brown eyes.

Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
Yes.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
Yes

Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
Yes.

How many of the opposite sex do you really trust?
None that I can think of off of the top of my head.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?
Yes.

throw me out the door, if it's what i deserve

All of your comments and your eagerness to argue don't make me feel any better about myself. I'm not happy, and your failure to sympathize is hurtful.

I'm not a bad person, but you make me feel like one. Being busy doesn't mean someone is bad. I love you and I want you in my life. I'm not forgetting about you if I don't talk to you every day.

You've changed me, but I'm not going to change for you.

a view of the city

Last night we drove around Salem on the hunt for Chinese food. Driving around with friends makes me feel so happy. I know it's dangerous, but we're careful and I love the freedom. Then we went home with our chinese and watched Jackass 2. It was probably the most nostalgic movie ever.

I just got back from the PSAT's and I don't want to think.

like a junkie needs a fix

I can't say the same for school, but it's been a really good week for music. My McFly Deluxe Edition CD came in the mail yesterday, and after waiting for it for two weeks to ship to America from the UK, it was well worth the wait. And then tonight I downloaded Tom Felton's new EP, All I Need, which gives me yet another reason to love him.

I'm rambling, badly. I need a shower.

christmas vacation, here i come

It's only October, and I am already looking forward to weekends and Christmas vacation. As if the world doesn't stress me out enough, I've also got a demanding social life to deal with, one that doesn't understand how to be put on hold. I can't afford to take a day off of school, or else I'll miss a test, practice, or meeting. I start to panic when I lose sight of my organizer. I have PSAT's next weekend, my mom is looking at colleges and cars, and I have no time to do anything anymore.

It's going to be a super year, I can tell.

embarrassment + a loud voice = friends?

Yesterday, Derek informed me that yet another person was added to my fan club. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but it's pretty exciting to think of how many people actually enjoy my company and input.

I'm a chippy!

Things I've learned this week:

• How unreliable the world is the week before my period
• How much I hate junior year already, and it's only October
• To never order stuff off of Amazon.co.uk again, because it takes forever

The highlight of my day was sitting at lunch, reviewing a certain plan with Devon and Vicki, when Krista stole our top secret notebook. All three of us screamed and jumped into action at the same time and Krista never got a peek. :) Then we sat and laughed for fifteen minutes about how pathetic we all are.

"You Bostonians take your sports teams way too seriously."

Last night, Mel and I went to the Death Cab for Cutie show at Boston University. Despite some less than desirable people around us, we still had an awesome time. It was surreal to see them live, I would do it again in a heart beat. Only, next time, with earplugs. :)

Also, an update on my ear: I went to the dentist, and my pain hasn't been because of my wisdom tooth. I went to the doctor's office yesterday and she said it could be an ear infection behind the ear drum. Which is, in all senses, awesome.

Total Sick Count: 2

I will have been in school for a month tomorrow, and already I've been sick twice. I'm going to the dentist today to see if my mysterious fevers on the right side of my face, spontaneous pains in my jaw/ear, and swollen jaw have anything to do with my wisdom tooth. I personally think it's an ear infection, but my mom is determined. I just want some painkillers to make it shut up.