I'm tired, I just wanna lie back down.

I've been crying all night, and it sucks because I had such an awesome day. Listening to Chasing Lights again made me burst into tears, but this time not over him- it was over Mel, and I knew that she was my last remaining source of unhappiness. So, since I knew I wouldn't have the courage to do it otherwise, I went on facebook, opened our inbox messaging chat, and started typing. I saved what I wrote, but didn't send it. And it was exactly what I felt I had left to say to her. I know that once I am ready to send this out, that's it. This is the last shot I am giving her, and unless she is ready and willing to spring into action and fix our relationship, then I am done making any attempts. I've already tried this a number of times, and this is it for me. I have already initiated enough conversations on the topic, tried to get my point across enough times, gave her the enough chances to work things out. From that point on, it's in her hands. And I will refuse to let our relationship upset me any more than it already has. From that point on, what she chooses to do with my letter is her decision. Any steps she chooses to take from there will be her doing. I am done doing all the work on our relationship.

I need to go back to Diane. If I hold this in any longer, I swear I'm going to burst.